Jenny Garrison’s Journey
Imagery Feb. 28
I see Badger, he is chewing on a stick…looking very much like badger from Wind in the Willows. He wears a smoking jacket. And is very polite. He invites me to pull up a chair. We are in his home in the earth, although the décor is like a person’s home. It is cozy here… a braided rug is on the ground. I tell him how cozy it feels.
Badger says, “This is my home…the home of my energy. This is a very important piece of my happiness, as it is yours. The energetics of home…. Cozy, comfortable. I acknowledge this is a part of me…., yet there is always the compulsion to put that part of me out into the world to SERVE. Badger says “yes, yes.
He RUNS his fingers through my hair. He is encouraging me to have a time of letting go. “You do not always have this chance, the home time, the space to let go. When life gives it to you, take the opportunity!”
It is winter and I can do that. The old is gone, the new has not yet come.
Badger sings a song:
The old is done.
The day is gone.
The night has come. The dawn belongs….to you.
Rest my dear.
Sing the song.
Be a friend,
Hedgehog comes. Badger says, “Come in Hedgy.”
Hedgehog has come calling. I love the tenderness in the way Badger calls him “Hedgy” and I tell him this.
Hedgey says “yes, yes, yes….we will all have tea”. Badger is making tea. I ask Hedgehog if he has a message for me.
He tells me he is about the Spring….about fresh new buds and the newness of Spring. He tells me to approach all of my life with that sense of newness and freshness, even things that are old can be made “new” in a new day. In order to approach life with newness I need to bury my fears….not stuff them away but really let go of fears. This is a huge thing for me. Hedgehog reminds me that it is also a very important thing.
Badger carries out the tea and says ”ah yes, you have gotten to it already (the discussion of fears).”
He tells me the tea represents the message of home…comfort, coziness. He tells me to ALLOW that….how being endlessly driven has its upside, it is not something I should affirm. Badger asks me, “who would you rather be around….someone who is endlessly driven or someone who can chill?”
Hedgehog is very excited….”Then then then when you are chilling the new shoots and buds and new things can take hold and have space”.
There appears a little table on which a notebook lays open in which I am to write my fears.
I do this:
-Fear that I do not make enough $ to allow my husband to relax in the way he would like to…because he is the primary breadwinner.
-Badger says, “Is this true?” I then see my husband doing all the things he loves to do…. “chillin.”
Badger says the basis of this fear is not really even true… he asks me to hone in, to go a bit deeper. Badger says the issue is autonomy, and how I am financially dependent upon my husband. I am trying to find the fear in that…. Fear of taking more than I give? I hear the question, “Are you willing to receive?” My initial response is YES I am. Badger asks if I am willing to receive with appreciation and honor. Yes I am. Badger guides me to write in my notebook:
-Fear of receiving
I try to decide what to do with this fear. There is a conversation about fire, and the thought of burning the little book of fears.
There is a pot belly stove in Badger’s living room, and I put the book called “Fear of receiving” into the fire. The flames are licking it.
There goes the fear
Up with the flames,
Into your heart…
Breathe deep and slow
Honor your path
Bless all who come
Exit all wrath.
Hedgy says, ”good song Badger”
Now we are going to decorate for the coming of Spring. We are going to bring in green things. They give me advice about my studio, how when I bring plants into the big room, then it is time for new people to come in too.
I ask them, “Who are you guys?”
“We are your animal guides.”
They tell me “Animal Guides” is a wonderful descriptor of the inner work, two words that people can understand.
I understand what they are saying.
I ask if they would like to speak about my daughters. They show me that the girls would love for me to be this chill around them… readily in the present moment, receptive, and open hearted.
Badger says, “There is a link you know, between openheartedness and receptivity.”
I really love these guys. I am so glad they came.
In the heart of a children’s story there is so much wisdom. This gathering is like a children’s story. I put my nose into the tea and sniff… chamomile, cinnamon, orange peel. I hear the refrain “Let heaven and nature sing”
Hedgey says ”Pay attention to “let”. “Allow”… make a space for that.”
Happiness comes through service. Service must be balanced with what they are showing me.
Badger writes a formula: Service + present moment chill time+ letting go of fear of receiving =Fulfillment
Service and happiness are linked. Fear of receiving and letting go are linked. Fulfillment is a beautiful thing.
Now Hedgey is singing a song: Serve
Serve, serve, serve,
They are propping their feet up on little stools, asking for foot rubs.
I start with Hedgey. It is so sweet to feel the little pads of his feet. I give him a little massage. He tucks his feet under him and we tough noses. I thank him for coming to talk with me about fear. I realize I really need to open up to receiving instead of feeling guilty about my perceived inadequacies. Hedgey tells me to play the refrain “Let heaven and Nature Sing” in my head like a mantra. My part is “Let”.
Hedgey is leaving now. He is at the door, thanking badger, and he gives me a wink.
I turn to Badger. I notice his ears. I ask him if there is something he wants me to hear or that he wants to hear. It is the whispered “I love You’s”. I give Badger a foot rub. His feet are strong and his claws are powerful. “oh yes” he says . “I can get a lot done. And so can you.” He reminds me to remember the formula, the equation…balancing service with simple home pleasure is best for me.
We are getting ready to say good-bye. He wraps me in his smoking jacket and holds me in an embrace. He tells me to come anytime. He says we may also meet each other on the highways and byways, but we always have this home to return to for a visit.